Spontaneous smooth growth of children, to three or four years old, its desire to actively seek friends become strong together, so that children like to play with children.
Children experiencing this phenomenon as early as late, but as long as he needs a friend, it shows this is a sentiment have been developing smoothly, emotional stability of children. Parents can be sure their own parenting methods and establish confidence.
If the children don\'t want to find the children, even if the children are exposed to the same age, not playing together, then parents must own parenting advice from various angles to be explored in the past.
In the time to pay attention to two key issues: first, have been suppressed children spontaneously grow and, second, whether emotional ties between parents and not strong enough.
Suppression of child rearing method of spontaneous growth, the parents most likely to fall into two traps, a bundle that is imposed on children is not appropriate, into its \"good boy\" in the framework of; there is also a training method is used to protect.
In the first case, the parents to put their children into their ideal of \"good boys\" on command, pressure on the child, dominating children\'s actions. As a result, children slowly become honest obedient and well to deal with.
Parents may feel that because of their own child, before making it into a \"good boy\", and even chuckling. Everyone knows, their own parenting methods has suppressed children spontaneously, to lose enthusiasm and vigor.
Protection in this context is a parenting methods, that is, things that should be done by the children themselves, parents were set to leave. That is, children \"do it yourself\" period, parents for \"do it well\", \"too time-consuming\" for various reasons, and not let your children do. In this way, spontaneous development of the children had been suppressed.
As a result, children increasingly dependent on adults, a little bit of thing do you want the parents to help themselves. If you make one concession after another go, kids will think the parents to do their own things for granted, parents in respect of the service for yourself. Little more serious, children will become with the tone of command to instigate mother. When the requirements are not met, and even violence against parents, the so-called \"domestic violence\".
Subject to excessive protection of the child, in the home is very showy, at first glance seem to be very dynamic, but to the outside variable fade away. It\'s like people often say \"the nest horizontal\".
Such children cannot join other children in the kindergarten play, always kept the teacher wouldn\'t let it go. And the teacher cannot only deal with a child, and children more uneasy, gradually not kindergarten.
So go on, children\'s ability to make friends growing up. So, in from elementary school to adolescence, a period there is a risk of various problems.
How should these problems we solve it above?
For the first case, we should promote the growth of children spontaneously, discarded those children into \"good boy\" in the frame control and command and give freedom back to the child. Because spontaneous is developed in the free.
Free the children, at the beginning seem at a loss when, I do not know to do well. However, once the child is not being scold, scold, his heart will gradually become loose and free, began to have a hilarious, spontaneously had been gradually revealed.
For the second case mentioned earlier, that brought about by protection and gregarious not children, we should immediately stop its protection efforts do not do this and that for children.
Because children are until this was helped by adults to do things, so start implementation of this measure, he also said \"help me\", never met his requirements, but should say to him: \"they tried to do. ”
In this case, the children initially confused, however, spontaneously that each child has a natural quality, so children will gradually begin to summon up the courage to try to do it by yourself. This can also be said to be spontaneously get a recovery of the child.
When previously after the parents have something else to do it yourself, kids will have such confidence: I will do it by yourself. As a result, children in the outer surface is no longer negative, able to play games with friends, friends will grow up.
For spontaneous growth retardation in children, what kind of methods we take its smooth development?
This method is \"let go\"--let your child do their own thing. Adults are not his fists or hands, it is critical. I called this \"silent.\" This \"line\" contains the significance of the words: you want to do that, must be paid like a spiritual practice as hard work.
Prior to that, \' this thing--scold,--hands-on mother and now want to suddenly stop, not only very difficult, and will feel very miserable.
I have suggested to many mothers used \"silent.\" Little mother hanging on, most of them are 5 minutes heat would finish.
But those who can stand to live this tough mother, they gradually understand its true significance, and to adhere to the implementation. At this time, with the assistance of father is also indispensable.
Children because their parents suddenly \"let go\", life is a moment of confusion: it is not late, is to forget things, or else forget affectation, and so on. However, he himself began to resolve this confusion in 1.1, and begin to understand one\'s own things must be done by yourself. In this way, children\'s spontaneous will slowly grow up.
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